We knit together our own unique stories from the threads of our experiences and how we perceive the world around us. We each have our own story. These stories shape who we are, how we see ourselves, our choices, and how we navigate life.
THE DANGER?
We can become stuck in our own stories and personal narratives and they define and start to limit us. We forget we have a choice to author a different story, unravel the threads, re-knit it, and create something new.
As a coach, I encounter countless stories from leaders who feel constrained by their own narratives. These stories can shape our behavior, perceptions, and interactions, sometimes leading to self-imposed barriers. For example, if you label someone as “difficult,” you’re more likely to prepare for confrontation, arming yourself to defend rather than to understand. In doing so, you might miss opportunities for collaboration and growth.
Take Marie, a high-potential leader in a fast-paced tech company. Her career took off quickly, but after a few years, she hit a plateau. Despite her talents and hard work, she struggled to secure the next big opportunity. Feeling stuck, Marie reached out for coaching, hoping to understand why her once-ambitious trajectory had turned into a self-limiting story.
UNRAVELING THE STORY
In our coaching sessions, we peeled back the layers of her story. We revisited her purpose and values to understand the “why” behind her work and what brings her meaning. We explored what the resistance was about, those self limiting beliefs and assumptions. Marie discovered underlying fears of inadequacy. She was afraid of being exposed “as not good enough”. This fear led her to put up barriers and hindered her courage preventing her from stepping out of her comfort zone. By experimenting, starting with small manageable steps we worked to rewrite her narrative. She recognized her strengths, regained her confidence, reconnected with her purpose, and began to trust her own insights.
Marie’s breakthrough came when she realized her story wasn’t serving her anymore. Instead of holding herself back, she began to reframe her challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. She started to put herself out there, showcasing her work, seeking roles that aligned with her goals, and allowing herself to be seen through networking and public speaking engagements. Gradually, her confidence returned, and she found herself climbing to new levels in her career. She even became a sought-after speaker, sharing her insights with a wider audience.
FINDING YOUR “WHY” AND LETTING GO OF SELF LIMITING BELIEFS
For Marie, the journey to change started by reconnecting with her “why.” She let go of self-limiting beliefs that told her she wasn’t good enough and began to amplify her strengths of relationship building, collaboration, and empathic leadership. When she was able to articulate her purpose and align it with her career goals, everything shifted. She found a new sense of clarity, focus, and courage.
Marie’s story also had another layer. Growing up with a learning disability, to overcome this she had developed a strong work ethic and prided herself on being a “doer.” However, this approach was no longer enough to propel her to the next level of leadership. Her leader encouraged her to showcase her achievements, and become a speaker on various panels but Marie resisted, with a visceral “ick” response feeling it was “showing off” or inauthentic. Her inner critic and her narrative convinced her that stepping into the spotlight was out of character, showing off, and she feared judgment.
Through our coaching, Marie began to reframe her narrative around visibility. Instead of seeing it as self-promotion, she recognized that sharing her knowledge was a way to make a meaningful impact and she opened doors for other women by being a speaker on panels. She was passionate about making a difference in her field that supported people and the greater good of the community. When she said this out loud, there was a moment of clarity. Her purpose wasn’t about seeking attention but about driving change and helping others.
THE STORIES WE CARRY AND HOW TO REWRITE THEM
We carry around belief patterns from our past that served a purpose kept us safe, guided us or kept us on track as children and now as adults they block us. But as we grow, these old narratives can become obstacles, limiting our potential, and courage. These self-limiting thoughts often go unnoticed, silently holding us back when we need to step forward the most.
We have a choice and the power to change our stories. It starts by recognizing when our narratives keep us frozen in patterns of faulty thinking, views, and behavior. We can rewrite our stories to become the person who we want to be.
As a leader, recognize the stories you tell yourself. Are these stories helping or hindering your growth? Explore and edit them to align with your purpose and vision you have for yourself, your team, and your organization.
BECOMING THE AUTHOR OF YOUR OWN STORY
Marie’s transformation was a reminder that we are the authors of our own stories. We have the choice to write, rewrite, and reimagine how our stories unfold. We can choose courage over comfort, authenticity over self-doubt, and growth over stagnation. When we align our purpose with our actions, we find the courage to show up as our authentic selves, creating a life and career that reflects who we truly are.
If you feel stuck in your story, ask yourself: What’s keeping me here? What do I need to let go of, and what do I need to embrace? When you begin to see yourself as the author of your life, you’ll find the courage to rewrite the chapters and create a story that empowers you, inspires others, and aligns with your true purpose. Let’s work together to turn your vision into reality and rewrite your story. I will guide and be your coach every step of the way on your transformative journey.
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